Don't Hug Me I'm Scared: Cartoon Network Version
by DaBestFanfictonerEvaar
Summary: This is what happens when I'm bored and I watch "So Many Birthdays"


Steven, Garnet, Emathest and Pearl sit around a TV. "Come on guys, stop mucking around. We only have five minutes until our show's on." Garnet says.

"That's not enough time." Pearl replies Benson suddenly appears.

"There's always time for a song." Benson adds.

"Huh, who is that?" Steven looks around to see where he came from.

Benson starts singing

_Benson: Time is a tool you can put on the wall or wear it on your wrist._  
_The past is far behind us, the future doesn't exist_

_Emathest: Oh._

_Steven: Whats the time?_

_Benson: Its a quarter to nine, time to have a bath._

_Pearl: What do you mean? We're already clean._

_Benson: Scrub, scrub, scrub, til the water's brown_  
_Time is a ruler to measure the day,_  
_it doesn't go backwards, only one way_  
_Watch it go round like a merry go round,_  
_going so fast like a merry go round._  
_Lets go on a journey, a journey through time._  
_Time is changing all the time, its time to go to time._

_Garnet: But we don't really want to we're going to miss our show_

_Benson: DON'T BE STUPID FRIENDS_  
_C'mon its time to go._  
_Time is old like the Victorian times._

_Mordecai: With cobbles and plague and speaking in rhymes_

_Rigby: With cobbles and chimneys a simpler time_

_Skips: With cobbles and sawdust and batteries and slime._

_Steven: This tree that is old has circles inside_

_Benson: The tree that is older has shriveled and died_

_Pearl: The apple that is fresh is ripe to the core_

_Apple: and I rot over time a̺͖͖̬n̝̗̺̺͉̼̦d͇ ͖̺͍̠̬̻̺I̪͖̺͚̟̤'̙̫̘̥̗̜ͅṃ̬ ̻̮̟̫̟n̝̭̦̰̘͎o̺͙t͈̱̼ ̼̼̟̫̻̱an̺̖̪y̥͍̺̹̹̞͍mo̝͇͈̠͖̬͙ṛ̰̣̣̟͖̪e͔͎̳͙̦̩_

_Benson: Time can be told by the moon or the sun but time flies fast when you're having fun._

Emethest is shown making a card pyramid. Benson smacks it down.

_Benson: There's a time and a place for mucking around_

_Steven: Like birthdays_

_Pearl: and camping_

_Thomas: I'm friends with my dad _

There was a very awkward pause.

_Garnet: and then what happened after the olden days?_

_Benson: Time went new and got old like history._  
_Stuff from the past went into a mystery_

_Emathest: an old man died_

_Benson: but look a computer_  
_Everything's cool, IT'S THE FUTURE_  
_Time is now, the future anew,_  
_and look at all of the wonderful things you can do_  
_With gadgets and gizmos and email addresses_

High-5 Ghost: M-my dad is a c-c-c-c-computer...

_Benson: Look at the time!_

_Pearl: Its quarter to eight, there's fish on my plate_

_Emathest: Its twenty past day, there's fish on my tray_

_Steven: Its eleven to twelve, there's fish in the bath_

_Garnet: Its nine thirty, there's fish everywhere...fish everywhere._

_Benon: Now you can see the importance of time._  
_It helps us make pizza, it keeps things in line._

_Pearl: But when did it start?_

_Steven: and when will it stop?_

_Benson: Time is important and I know a lot._

_Garnet: If we run out of time, where does it go?_

_Emathest: Is time even real?_  
_Does anyone know?_

_Pearl: Maybe time's just a construct of human perception._  
_An illusion created by-_

Benson suddenly starts screaming

Benson: Meh, meh, meh, meh,  
Meh, meh, meh, meh,  
Meh, meh, M̬̯͇͙E̙H͎!̪̫ ̜̹͈ͅM̰̳̩̰̫EH̬!͇̯͍̱̭ ͔  
M̘͉͉E͎͖H̯͖̦͚̱!͙̳̭̪̭͕̱ ͓M̰̤̩̞E͇͇̰̦̬ͅH!̫͎̫̗ ͕̪͉M̖E̩H͕̬̤̘!͎͕͍͔͉̠̟ ͉̬̬̝͙M̠̪͇E̳̩̩H̞̻̘!̝̦̬͈̭

_Sunrise, sunset night and day_  
_The changing seasons the smell of hay._  
_Look at your hair grow, isn't it strange?_  
_How time makes your appearance change..._

Suddenly, Steven starts to grow up. He starts aging very quickly, and the Crystal Gems remember this.

"What are you doing? Don't kill Steven!" Pearl yells.

"You're fired, Steven." Benson maniacally laughs.

Garnet tries to attack Benson, but he moves too fast. Benson paralyzes all of them with his magic powers

"Make it stop!" Steven screams as he rapidly gets older.

_Benson: Its out of my hands, I'm only a boss_  
_Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be fine, but eventually everyone_

R͎͉͍̬̗̫U͏̱̰Ņ̲̘S̥ ҉͙̘̙̳̣O̲͎͙̩̞̝UT̘̝̬̙̺̝ ͢O̥̟͔͕̫̞ͅF̪̺̙̯́ ̭̠͍̫TI͓͇̞̟M̰E̹̱͔͔͠


End file.
